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May 3, 2013 by theloneblonde

TV Shows that need to be imported to SHBA-Ja/TV shows that should never have been exported EVER

 

Albania is where bad Spanish telenovlas go to get a second life, it’s where those American movies that have never made it are hits, Palestine apparently has a addictive soap operas?   I wonder 95% of the time WHERE THE HELL DID THEY GET THIS, and other 2.5% what makes Albanians like this and 2.5% imagine this being watching in the USA, all the major TV shows in another language with subs (then I laugh). Honestly, I had no idea that that Rock made so many movies, I also think I watched the most currently airing Spanish telenovla in the THIRD GRADE, 15 years or so ago… just saying.

 

Due to the fact that village has no lights, and well there is really nothing going on after 7pm (ever), we watch a lot of TV. Rarely is TV watching for a major purpose, I mean there are a few families who have their shows as I would have in the states. But it is often background noise. You would imagine that it would be a little annoying that the TV would be on all the time, but there is two sides to that idea. If it is on all the time it means I can talk less, which is good because in Shqip I just blurt out strings of words that may or may not make sense. Also it inundates the room with random Shqip words being thrown out. My host family spends a lot of time watching news programs, which I am happy to report that I am starting to understand! Though the Cartoons are another story, due to the fact that they are translated from Japenese to English and then Dubbed in Shqip, no idea what’s going on there.

 

There are a few gems though in all of this television watching and I for sure have some favorites, of which I would really like to make a case for importing them to the United States…

 

My personal favorites are:

 

Fix Fare

This is a cross between Tosh.0, America’s Funniest Home Videos, the actual honest to god news, the two Chicago Radio personalities that got drunk on the air on Fridays, and maybe John Stewart. The idea behind the show is that there are these two guys who find ridiculous news segments (from the actual news on that same channel) and they make fun of them. There is one normal guy who “reports” and the other guy the Docktori is probably pretty trashed. Their team goes out into the field and dives into stories and then shows youtube movies of people doing stupid things interrupting the segments randomly. As it is currently election season in Albania, clearly there is plenty to make fun of. Such as when one of the candidates goes around calling some place something ridiculous like the breadbasket of Albania they interview the actual locals asking the same questions. Hilariousness ensues. Then if you don’t find it hysterical there are strippers, something for everyone I guess.

 

Portokalli

Then there is Portokalli, which literally means Oranges (the fruit and the Color). This show is part SNL, part whose line is it anyway, part stand up comedy, and all types of insanity (mostly of the politically incorrect variety). My goal by the end of next month is to actually understand what in the world is happening. It is a train wreck of the politically incorrect nonsense that is just what the doctor ordered.

 

Though oddly enough I find out about the strangest things through watching strange news programmes.  I would also like to report that I found out that snake and rainbow are really similar in Albanian… whoops.

 

Xhiro Lovin

 

So one of my favorite cultural concepts in Albania is the idea of the Xhiro.

 

Xhiro- Noun- Direct translation, Turnover, walk, or stroll

Can pretty much mean anything really.

 

You Bëj Xhiro, translates as you make xhiros. It’s just what you do.

You can:

Bëj Xhiro me kembë : Make a Xhiro with Foot

Bëj Xhiro në makina : Make a Xhiro  with Car

Bëj Xhiro në Varkë: Make a Xhiro in Boat

Bëj Xhiro në Makina I vogel : Make a Xhiro in the Little Cars aka Bumper Cars

 

Your Xhiro is your time to show off to the town. To stroll in your Sunday Best, pull out your crazy hats, men must have a good finishing best, women wear heals (on cobble stone streets, talent), wear your shades so you can check everyone else out, and strut through the main boulevard just as the sun begins to set.  Men often sit on the benches which are always somewhere near the main drag to oogle women from a far, this is also a great time to discuss the days events, politics, gas prices and family gossip. Sometimes after a very long workday during training times we end up making the Xhiro on accident and are swept into the whirlwind that is the art form of Xhiro. Out in the fshat it’s a little bit of a different story.

 

 Which makes me highly excited for the fact that I am moving in a few weeks to an apartment that overlooks the Xhiro Blvd of my new site!

 

Çorvodë: My future Home Sweet Qytet

 

Speaking of that I will be moving to a little city called Çorvodë. Çorvodë is a quiet little city in the middle of the south of Albania.  If you look at the Wikipedia page, you probably will know more then I do about the place. I am incredibly excited about the city itself, it has been described to me in several different ways.

 

Çorvodë as explained to people who may or may not have ever been there:

  1. It’s a quiet little city
  2. It’s like being in a tree house
  3. It’s quiet a hike
  4. You will have an awesome butt after two years
  5. It’s like the set of the lord of the Rings
  6. It’s exotic
  7. It’s like being in a rainforest canopy
  8. Mass confusion, Looks at phone, googles Çorvodë, Oh um hum?
  9. Oh Shume e Buker (Oh how pretty!)

10. Oh Shume Keq? (Oh How Bad) Then I am informed of somewhere like Tirana or Vlore

 

My response to #10 is normally no way; Çorvodë when I am done is going to be the place to be in Shqipria by the time I am done! I will be working across a few offices, specifically Tourism and Public Relations with dabbles in the Planning Office and Economic Development worlds. Çorvodë is apparently building both a ring road around the city along with a factory, which they hope will encourage employment. It also have these amazing canyons that from what I have seen in pictures are just stunning; a river runs through them and there are even rapids perfect for boating! Also it may be arguably one of the world’s oldest cities, um SHUME COOL!

 

For now, I should have a lot more to say but I don’t really get the time to say it, maybe because I have become a slight addict to bbc tv shows that I missed the boat on as my form of decompression after a long day of translating… it’s makes me shume e lodhur (very tired)!

 

Soon to come, fun in the fshat: Dita Shqiptaro- Americane!  

 

As usual please excuse my poor excuse of having once mastered the English Language.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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